🦎 When Aliens Discovered Corporate Life: A Galactic Roast

In a world eight billion light-years away from Earth — where gas particles swell to the size of guavas and darkness exists only as an urban legend — a synthetic-leather structure stands firm against a planet that refuses to obey gravity. Fluid at its peak and solid at its base, it hums faintly, like a migraine given architectural form.

Beyond its walls, enormous floating mammals drift lazily through the radiant air while birdlike creatures shimmer between ultraviolet beams. It’s the kind of peaceful alien landscape that would make even gods sigh in relief — until the door slams open.

Far beyond Earth’s reach, a leather-like structure hums beneath glowing skies

Two humanoid figures stumble in, their once-pristine uniforms tattered, ties hanging limp like defeated flags. They collapse onto a sagging sofa before a massive wall-mounted screen — the only familiar relic of human civilization they’d brought home. Red goo trickles down the walls, pulsing in sync with the pair’s labored breathing.

Company Training Day 2025 (Part 3): Pastries, Humanoids, and Gustavo’s Brush with Destiny

Saturday Training Day 2025 wasn’t done with Gustavo yet. After pastries, speeches, and the awkward attempts of management to inject “fun” into corporate learning, the final act of the day pushed the boundaries of reason. Between buffet food comas, Quality Assurance lectures, and what may or may not have been an alien invasion, this part of Gustavo’s journey proved that absurdity can strike even at the heart of a corporate event.

Post-Buffet Chaos

Bellies stretched, belts loosened, and yawns echoed through the lavish hotel function hall. The coffee station became a battlefield as overstuffed employees fought for caffeine to survive the dreaded “afternoon slump.”

But there was Gustavo, a man with his own strategy: a fresh plate of roasted chicken wings and potato wedges.

“Damn, Gustavo! Really making the most of it, huh?” Gaspar said, eyeing his teammate’s fourth plate.

“I don’t plan on buying dinner tonight, man. This is paid for already,” Gustavo replied mid-bite, chicken grease shining proudly on his lips.

Before anyone could argue, Archie’s voice cut through the murmurs:

“We now welcome Sandy, our Chief of Quality Assurance, to discuss the 3 R’s of effective quality management. Please give her a round of applause.”

A slow, half-hearted clap rolled across the room. Underwriting was still outside on a smoke break. Claims was on the brink of a food coma. And Sandy… Sandy had the unenviable job of keeping an uninterested, burping crowd awake.

“Quality gets the short end again,” Gustavo muttered, scarfing down his wedges. “Nobody likes the fault-finders.”

The Humanoids Arrive

Then, everything changed.

Company Training Day 2025 (Part 2): Pastries, Speeches, and Starfish

If you’re wondering why Gustavo’s at a hotel instead of in bed watching anime, rewind to Part 1—it explains everything (sort of).

Training Day 2025 pressed on. The welcome ceremonies passed in a blur of applause and polite reverence. Jon, flying in from Australia, congratulated the Philippine branch for keeping the Asia-Pacific and North America portfolio in good order. Archie followed, accepting the praise on behalf of the branch. Each speech earned the respectful applause of the crowd.

Gustavo, however, had other priorities. He was knee-deep in an assortment of deluxe pastries rarely available to him.

Pastries Over Protocol

“Gustavo, come on…” Zoey whispered as she walked past, exasperated at his irreverence.

“Hey, just getting my hazard pay,” Gustavo quipped, a grin forming as he held up his croissant.

Zoey rolled her eyes, but with a faint smile. She had bigger things to worry about than Gustavo’s sugar intake.

Company Training Day 2025 (Part 1): Gustavo’s Saturday of Coffee and Chaos

Saturday mornings are usually sacred for Gustavo — a time when his head rests peacefully on his pillow as anime streams on his phone. But on this particular Saturday, instead of pajamas, he was dressed in office attire, standing in line with colleagues for his company’s much-anticipated Training Day 2025.

The venue was no ordinary meeting hall. A lavish hotel function room buzzed with life as employees from every department converged. The Engagement Team cheered loudly, their energy infecting even the most reluctant attendees.

The Arrival of the Big Bosses

The atmosphere shifted as familiar faces from newsletters and email blasts — the company’s top brass — made their way into the lobby.

“Oh my, that’s Boss Archie.”

“Wow! Jon made it all the way from Australia?”

Murmurs of amazement swept the room. Then came Gustavo’s unmistakable voice:

“Well kiss my lips and call me Sally! He’s here! It’s Gaspar! The greatest of us all!”

Gustavo enthusiastically high fives his teammate Gaspar who had just arrived. His antics earned chuckles from his small circle of friends, though most eyes remained glued to the higher-ups.

Friday at the Office: Corporate Coldness, SLAs, and the Countdown to Freedom

Brightly lit corporate office on a Friday afternoon with employees working at their desks

Intro:

Friday afternoons in corporate offices often carry a unique mix of pressure, exhaustion, and anticipation. This is the story of Gustavo, his team, and the clock that measures both their work and their freedom.

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The Pressure of SLAs

The chatter of voices, the clicking of mice, and the clacking of keyboards fill the office on a Friday afternoon. Employees push through the final hours of the week, racing to meet their department’s Service Level Agreements (SLAs) before the clock strikes five.

At his desk, Gustavo takes a slow sip of coffee. The cup warms his hands against the steady blasts of the air-conditioning that chill the office. He works at an even pace, glancing often at the clock on the wall.

Gustavo’s 4AM Filipino Morning Routine: Coffee, Cigarettes & Sarcastic Work Chat

Before sunrise, Gustavo fights exhaustion, cigarettes, and the weight of another workday. This story captures the grind of early mornings, corporate dread, and the fleeting humor we use to survive routine.

At 4:00 AM, the town still lay beneath its blanket of silence. Gustavo’s alarm erupted—a shrill, unforgiving shriek—yanking him from half-dreams. He groaned, limbs heavy as wet towels, and fumbled for his glasses on the nightstand. Each movement felt like wading through molasses; even blinking cost effort.

In the kitchen, he set the kettle on its burner, hands trembling as he measured three spoonfuls of coffee and three of creamer into his chipped mug. No sugar, because at this hour sweetness was a luxury. Steam hissed from the spout, and when the first drop of boiling water hit the powder, Gustavo flinched as if stung.

A quiet kitchen counter with coffee, kettle, and mug—capturing the weary solitude and morning rituals of a long workday ahead.

When High Hopes Meet Low Bandwidth: Gustavo’s Tuesday Streaming Meltdown

After a draining 9-to-5, there’s nothing sweeter than clocking out and reclaiming your freedom. The Joyful Clock-Out follows Gustavo—your classic overworked office worker—on his chaotic yet hilarious after-work ritual. From dodging supervisors in the elevator to snacking like a king, and finally facing the ultimate anime-night disaster (thanks to a dead Wi-Fi box), this short story captures the comedy, relief, and pure absurdity of escaping corporate life at day’s end.

Joyful office worker leaving the workplace at 5 PM, symbolizing freedom from corporate stress and excitement for after-work relaxation.

The Joyful Clock-Out

Gustavo, the perpetually overworked corporate drone, slams his laptop shut at 5 PM sharp. He scoops up his coffee tumbler, earbuds, and half-eaten protein bar with a grin that would alarm a psychiatrist.  

He vaults toward the elevator, heart pounding with…something thrilling that isn’t paperwork.

Elevator Ambush: Background Noise

Doors slide open, and Ayan, Gustavo's supervisor,  edges beside him, clipboard raised.  

“Pah-per… plan-ting… Sat­ur­day… bus… waiv­er…” her words blur into elevator dings.  

Gustavo’s brain hits mute; he nods so vigorously Ayan beams—convinced he’s on board.

Shoes Off, Slippers On: The Great Escape

In the carpark, Gustavo peels off dress shoes and hurls socks onto the passenger seat.  

Fried Chicken and Existential Crumbs: One Man’s Lunch Break Meltdown at Lawson

Gustavo had conquered his morning workload like a caffeinated warrior—half a shift’s worth of spreadsheets slain before noon. But victory came with a greasy price. His go-to lunch savior, Gaspar the home-cooked meal hustler, had ghosted the office. No adobo. No sinigang. Just silence and hunger.

So Gustavo descended the corporate tower like a man condemned, muttering curses at the culinary void. The elevator doors closed slowly, trapping him with his thoughts.

“Why did Gaspar have to be absent today? Here I go again. Fried chicken, fried siomai, fried bean sprouts, fried longganisa, fried luncheon meat… what’s next?!

Micromanaged and Alone: One Man’s Drive Through Office Life and Traffic

Corporate pressure, endless Manila traffic, and the weight of solitude—Micromanaged and Alone follows Gustavo’s weary drive home after another draining day at the office. This short story captures the frustrations of modern work life, the longing for freedom, and the quiet ache of loneliness in a city that never slows down.

Lonsome view from the driver seat of Gustavo's daily commute after work

Gustavo’s fingers were still stained with printer ink when he slid into the driver’s seat of his aging sedan. The dashboard blinked its usual warnings—low fuel, overdue maintenance—but he barely noticed. His mind was already elsewhere, tangled in the knots of another exhausting day at the office.

The engine hummed as he merged onto the freeway, Manila’s traffic already thick with impatience. He gripped the wheel tighter than necessary, jaw clenched, thoughts spiraling.

“What’s her problem?” he muttered, thinking of his supervisor.