Wednesday, September 10, 2025

Manila Floods and Forgotten Promises: An Absurd Tale of a Vagabond, Watermelon Seeds, and Smiling Politicians

The rains in Manila did not fall — they collapsed, like a billion buckets overturned by a drunken god. Jeepneys bobbed like bathtub toys, tricycles spun like lost tops, and office workers scurried in their pressed clothes, darting into malls where the air-conditioning roared louder than the storm. From the safety of glass walls and fluorescent light, they watched the world blur into gray water, and then politely forgot it existed.


Far away yet still in the same city, a vagabond sat in a half-drowned basketball court. The court had once hosted sweaty neighborhood games, but now it served as an ark for one man, one dog, and a collapsing kingdom of cardboard boxes. His lips — cracked, swollen, mutinous from too many watermelon seeds — seemed to spell a wordless hymn. He smiled anyway, as though each seed carried the punchline to a cosmic joke only he could hear.

Monday, September 8, 2025

Company Training Day 2025 (Part 1): Gustavo’s Saturday of Coffee and Chaos

Saturday mornings are usually sacred for Gustavo — a time when his head rests peacefully on his pillow as anime streams on his phone. But on this particular Saturday, instead of pajamas, he was dressed in office attire, standing in line with colleagues for his company’s much-anticipated Training Day 2025.


The venue was no ordinary meeting hall. A lavish hotel function room buzzed with life as employees from every department converged. The Engagement Team cheered loudly, their energy infecting even the most reluctant attendees.


The Arrival of the Big Bosses


The atmosphere shifted as familiar faces from newsletters and email blasts — the company’s top brass — made their way into the lobby.


“Oh my, that’s Boss Archie.”

“Wow! Jon made it all the way from Australia?”


Murmurs of amazement swept the room. Then came Gustavo’s unmistakable voice:


“Well kiss my lips and call me Sally! He’s here! It’s Gaspar! The greatest of us all!”


Gustavo enthusiastically high fives his teammate Gaspar who had just arrived. His antics earned chuckles from his small circle of friends, though most eyes remained glued to the higher-ups.

Saturday, September 6, 2025

A Quiet Saturday Morning That Didn’t Last Long

In a quiet suburban neighborhood in Laguna, the sound of birds, children at play, and neighbors at work paints the perfect Saturday morning. But for Gustavo, coffee in hand and cigarette smoke curling in the air, that peace is fragile—easily broken by the sudden buzz of his phone.


A quiet Saturday morning unfolds in the neighborhood. Birds are chirping, chickens are clucking, and kids are playing in the sunlit streets. The golden rays kiss the dampened community, still fresh from last night’s rain.


Inside a well-lit room, Gustavo—a rotund man known for his quirks—clutches his pillow and lets out a calm groan as he stretches his limbs. For once, he wakes without the shrill scream of his alarm clock. The silence is strange but comforting.

Saturday, August 30, 2025

The Death of Cornelius: Gustavo’s Sanity, Basketball Fan, and Debt-Ridden Abstract Concept

Cornelius, the fragile embodiment of Gustavo’s sanity, officially expired on August 29, 2025. Known in the neighborhood as both a stabilizing force and a suspiciously well-dressed abstract concept, Cornelius balanced his days with basketball, motorcycle joyrides on his beloved 2023 Honda CB400, and occasional wrestling matches with his loyal pet komodo dragon, Alfred.


Once rumored to be a mildly racist ex-SS commander (though records remain unclear), Cornelius heroically contained the chaos of one man’s overcaffeinated mind. He is survived by 14 wives, 5 sons, 9 daughters, Alfred the dragon, and a mountain of crippling debt that would make even the most forgiving bank manager weep.


Cornelius will be missed, mostly by creditors.


Cornelius, sanity in a suit—basketball in hand, dragon debt unpaid.

Cornelius may be gone, but the absurdity lives on. For more chaotic tales, don’t miss Bang Bang, Bayan! — The Memoirs of a Sentient Pistol in WWII Philippines


Monday, August 25, 2025

Nostalgia in Manila: Gustavo’s Story of Basketball, Gin, and Friendship

Gustavo, now in his 30s and working a corporate job, looks back on his Manila college days filled with basketball, cheap gin, cigarettes, and unforgettable friendships.

Once a backdrop to basketball games, cheap gin, and carefree laughter, the College of Fine Arts now lives on in Gustavo’s memories of youth.


A hot, unrelenting sun bore down on the cracked pavement of the College of Fine Arts parking lot. Yet a cool breeze, almost out of place in the Manila heat, drifted through the trees, carrying with it the chatter of birds and the restless whisper of leaves. The scene was tranquil—until Gustavo shattered it.


“HELL YEAH!”


The cheer tore through the air like a gunshot. A rotund student in a blue polo and Crocs, Gustavo threw his arms skyward after sinking a basket on a makeshift hoop. His victory dance was as graceless as it was excessive, hips thrusting into the wind, voice echoing with triumph.


“WHO’S YOUR DADDY, BABY? EAT IT! LOVE IT! GET USED TO IT!”

Friday, August 22, 2025

Friday at the Office: Corporate Coldness, SLAs, and the Countdown to Freedom

Brightly lit corporate office on a Friday afternoon with employees working at their desks

Intro:

Friday afternoons in corporate offices often carry a unique mix of pressure, exhaustion, and anticipation. This is the story of Gustavo, his team, and the clock that measures both their work and their freedom.


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The Pressure of SLAs


The chatter of voices, the clicking of mice, and the clacking of keyboards fill the office on a Friday afternoon. Employees push through the final hours of the week, racing to meet their department’s Service Level Agreements (SLAs) before the clock strikes five.


At his desk, Gustavo takes a slow sip of coffee. The cup warms his hands against the steady blasts of the air-conditioning that chill the office. He works at an even pace, glancing often at the clock on the wall.

Tuesday, August 19, 2025

Heaven & Hell Basketball Showcase Decides Ukraine-Russia Conflict

Photo from 2019's Heaven & Hell Basketball Showcase

CELESTIAL ARENA — Tuesday, August 19, 2025  


An electrified crowd of angels and demons packed Celestial Arena tonight for the opening of the seven-game Heaven & Hell Basketball Showcase. With the winner granted the power to sway the outcome of the Ukraine-Russia conflict, anticipation crackled through every halo and horn.  


Grand Opening Spectacle Dazzles Celestial Arena


The festivities began with a blistering set by rock legend Ozzy Osbourne, whose howl echoed off gilded balconies as pyrotechnics painted the rafters in celestial fire. Directly afterward, wrestling icons Hulk Hogan and Razor Ramon squared off in the center court, body-slamming each other beneath suspended hoops and sending the infernal faithful into a frenzied chant of “Whatcha gonna do when Heaven runs wild on you?”  


Recruitment Clash Sparks Satanic Outcry